the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
so let's talk penis.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
and you fell through a lawn chair
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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