oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
