we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
