worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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