is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I wish i was in the wii world.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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