every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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