and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
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My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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