okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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