i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
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i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
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I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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