I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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