mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I can't turn off my feet"
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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