well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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