remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize