Whod you bang
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
