Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
