Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
