I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
