Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
