A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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