I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
