My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
