In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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