Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
