Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
