I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
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Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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