Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
