I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize