I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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