so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
