If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Watching her eat just hurts me
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
