Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
