I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize