You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I feel like death gave me a hand job
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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