i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
