i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
