hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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