..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Who died my cat blue again?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
