??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
