im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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