i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
