No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
