What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
