I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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