If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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