Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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