is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
