Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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