why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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