Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
