After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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