Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets

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(604): View more from British Columbia

And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.

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(785): View more from Kansas

this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.

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(727): View more from Florida

its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics

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(701): View more from North Dakota

From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.

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(712): View more from Iowa

This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b

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(850): View more from Florida

Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it

(202): View more from Washington, DC

But dear lord is it worth it

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