she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
