I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
