Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
operation have a gay friend backfired
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Randomize
