lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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