Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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