super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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