this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Terrible idea I love it
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
