I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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