Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I am naked and annoyed.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
