When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
My ass is underappreciated
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
