It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize