I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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