Jerry, you need to find god
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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