Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
