all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
