Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Then you guys just all showered together...?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
