i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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