I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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