i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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