I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
