i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
