So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
