We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
